


Misery

by The Tinglenator (Misha_McCarthy)



Series: Supernatural One-Shots [22]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel Lives (Supernatural), Castiel Returns (Supernatural), Coda, Cute Ending, Dean Winchester Lives, Dean Winchester Says "I Love You", Destiel - Freeform, Drabble, Fix-It, Flash Fic, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Castiel (Supernatural), Happy Castiel/Dean Winchester, Happy Dean Winchester, Happy Ending, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Newly Human Castiel (Supernatural), One Shot, POV Dean Winchester, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Song Lyrics, Worried Castiel (Supernatural), spn 15x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misha_McCarthy/pseuds/The%20Tinglenator
Summary: Dean's in perfect bliss, with nothing to worry about, and surrounded by the reunited family unit he's always longed for... but it still doesn't feel right. Coda and fix-it flashfic for 15x20.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Supernatural One-Shots [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877215
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Misery

**Author's Note:**

> I think we can all agree the last episode needed some SERIOUS fixing up, so for your sanity (and mine), I stayed up much later than usual to write this.

> _“It's not that I didn't care,_
> 
> _It's that I didn't know._
> 
> _It's not what I didn't feel,_
> 
> _It's what I didn't show._
> 
> _I am in misery_
> 
> _There ain't nobody_
> 
> _Who can comfort me_
> 
> _Why won't you answer me?_
> 
> _The silence is slowly killing me._
> 
> _You really got me bad_
> 
> _I'm gonna get you back.”_

* * *

The Impala came to a stop outside a worn-in bungalow that was nestled among the trees, right at home with the rest of nature as if it’d been there since the beginning of time. The car purred for a while. Birds sang. And the brothers, reunited in Heaven, watched the peaceful scene through the windshield. It wasn’t exactly perfect. They had a lot of catching up to do after all the years Dean knew he’d missed, and he had no idea how to go about greeting their dad. But they were a family, together, _really_ together, and it was more than he’d been able to hope for.

There could have been many more people in the house- the Campbells, Ellen, Jo, and Ash- but he had a weird, innate feeling that it was only going to be the four of them for now. He smiled. Sam seemed happy as well, though his eyes were clouded by the kind of wisdom that came with an extra few decades of life. Extra decades that Dean didn’t, and would never, have. He knew they were both hesitating for their own reasons.

“You ought to go in first,” he said, pulling the keys out and listening to the engine become quiet. Sam looked over with a questioning glance. Dean could only continue to smile, led by the old feeling of maintaining his facade. But he was happy, too. Happy in a weird way. Everything around him brought a grin to his face- and it was a foreign concept, but he enjoyed it all the same. This was what Heaven was supposed to be. “You and Dad have a lot to talk about. And I know you wanted some time with Mom, too.”

Sam watched him for another minute in the serene silence. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there in a minute.”

His little brother nodded, then climbed out and made his way up the dirt path. The house appeared empty; there weren’t any lights or sounds, but under the afternoon sun, he could imagine his parents sitting in a living room or the backyard, laughing and relaxing, totally at peace. He closed the car door behind himself as he took a few steps to follow. But with that same sixth sense that seemed to be ingrained, Dean suddenly felt some other presence behind him. It wasn’t… good. It didn’t belong.

He turned around to find a familiar face, still layered in that old beige trench coat.

“Dean,” Cas said in greeting. The angel’s eyes were brighter than he normally remembered- glowing with the kind of joy he’d only seen in their last few moments together.

He opened his mouth to return the favour, but his throat thickened, and no words could find a way to be choked out. His emotions flipped back and forth at every instant, between immeasurable joy and pure, unfiltered dread. This was the person he couldn’t stop thinking about; a second brother, a spot of light whenever everything else seemed dark. It was also the person they’d been forced to leave behind- who’d sacrificed so much when Dean wasn’t even able to help him in return. It was beautiful, terrible, and he froze, only to be practically tackled by the force Cas used in hugging him.

Cas continued to hold this for a minute while Dean still tried to wrap his mind around a few coherent English words. When the only reply was a fierce embrace in return, he spoke into Dean’s shoulder, muttering, “I’m sorry if my last words have made this awkward.”

“What?” He pulled the angel away so they could look at each other properly. “No. The stuff you said- I mean…” A chuckle came out of him, but the euphoria from recent events had started to wear off. Not a single damn word would come out, and he knew if he didn’t say the right thing, Cas might push himself further away- or leave entirely. His worry only made it a thousand times harder to do anything. “Me and Sam have been trying to get you out for _weeks_. We contacted everyone we could get a hold of. Not even Rowena knew of a spell that’d get us over there, or pull you back.”

“Weeks?” Cas’s eyebrows pinched together with that little head tilt of his.

“I spent every second I got looking for something,” he insisted, knowing that it was worthless to mention anyways. He’d died before accomplishing any of it, so what did it matter? He failed. Again.

Cas smiled a little, seeming to finally understand- which made Dean feel even worse, since the Winchester was certain there was nothing else to be understood. “I know you did, Dean. And I know Sam tried to pull you away for a hunt, but you were so distracted-”

“Dean?” Sam called out.

His brother was on the bungalow’s porch, covering his eyes in an attempt to figure out what was keeping the last member of their family of four. They’d already been kept waiting; he didn’t want them to have to wait any longer. Dean realized _he_ didn’t want to stall more. He wanted to be in that cute little house, filling up on cheap beers and half-burnt homemade cooking, surrounded by people who would always care for him- who he knew he’d always get along with. None of them would ever have to fight for each other’s love. It came easily in Heaven. No great big Apocalypses, no sacrifices or risking your life.

He wanted to be in that house.

“Dean.” His name was called out again, but it didn’t come distantly. Cas grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and whirled him back around to face the dirt road, where Sam and him had driven in from the bridge. His eyes met with Cas’; but he wasn’t sure what to make of the emotions he found inside, so Dean tried to pull away again. “Dean, wait,” Cas begged. “It’s not real. You were caught off guard by a djinn.” Finally, Dean caught the hint that Cas might be just as lost as he was after the last time they’d seen each other. A ton of words tended to spill out at times like this. “We killed it, and we’ve been trying to get through to you. I had to drink some sort of plant. I’m sorry it took me so long to return. I think I reappeared on Earth in Canada, and it was very confusing, and the people there are very hospitable, but odd. I tried to find my way back-” Cas paused, and Dean recognized the choked look. “I’m sorry it wasn’t soon enough. This is a nice dream- but it isn’t what you want. Sam and I need you. I-” The angel smiled. “ _I_ need you.”

Dean’s lips turned upwards without his consent, but he still felt the need to turn back again-to glimpse at the “perfect” Heaven. A Heaven with a distinct lack of Cas. He knew it was probably because their relationship wasn’t exactly perfect. They were both idiots who always found another thing to argue about. Broken pieces were scattered all over- not leastly the sacrifice Cas made with the Empty- and Dean knew he needed to pick them all up, fix every bit. Find the proper words to tell Cas that his love would never go unreciprocated.

He had no inclination to think any of it would be easy. Hell, the idea of failing- in any way- the only other person besides Sam who’d always been there for him… it was damn frightening. But he was more scared of going into that bungalow and never getting to set things right again, or to see him or Sam again. And that’s when he turned his gaze back around to Cas, saying, “I love you, too.”

Cas displayed that adorable smile, where every part of his face seemed to light up all at once. They both knew he wasn’t replying to what Cas had said just a minute ago; he was reaching further back, to the reply he’d never had the chance to give after the Empty was summoned. Dean was relieved to see that he’d told Cas the right thing- because he meant it, and he always would.

The djinn’s magical hold began to break, and the world turned white.

* * *

“So… you’re human now?” Dean confirmed for what had to be the fourth time that day as Cas sat beside him on a park bench, enjoying the view of just a small fraction of the people they’d managed to save. And Miracle. Miracle was running around the fields as they spoke, looking immensely happy for a dog that had a stray not very long ago.

“Yes. The changes Jack made to Heaven- it’s like the old version was removed. It doesn’t need angels to sustain it anymore, and I’m not able to draw power from it.”

“Kind of like when you were being distanced from Heaven,” Dean said with a glance. The Apocalypse, thought it seemed so long ago now, might still be a touchy subject.

But Cas just nodded his head. “It’s interesting, how Heaven was altered in your dream. You must have been able to hear me.”

Dean was quiet for a moment. His eyebrows furrowed in good nature as he asked, “You mean, you were talking to me while I was unconscious?”

“Well,” Cas blushed, “Sam was finding the African Dream Root. There didn’t seem anything better to do while I continued to make sure you were alright.”

Dean drew an arm around and pulled them closer together. He felt a weight on his shoulder as Cas leaned on him in turn. “Thanks, Cas. For everything.”

“Of course.”


End file.
